The Night Hiei Went Crazy
by Karma Won't Sleep
Summary: The title basically explains it. Hiei. Goes. Crazy. ***COMPLETE*** very funny please read!
1. Prologue: Money, Money, Money

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of its characters  
  
Prologue Money, money, money  
  
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As our friend Hiei was walking the streets one day, he saw a man trying to convince people to fight him.  
  
"How foolish," thought Hiei.  
  
He went to go see why this man thought he could beat everyone up. Then Hiei saw that people were actually giving this man what he wanted by trying to fight him. The man was stronger than those other humans on the street, but nowhere near strong enough for even a low-class demon. Hiei got even more annoyed when he saw that people were actually betting on who would win!  
  
"This is beyond stupid," said Hiei.  
  
"Fine!" said the fighting man. "If you think you're so tough then I'll give you all of the money I have won from bets on fights if you can beat me."  
  
"You fool! Oh all right, but you are going to lose. I won't mind embarrassing you a bit."  
  
"Yeah right punk come on lets go! If you think you can beat the great Kienu then you are.. uh.. wrong! How can you beat anyone! You are such a shorty that I don't even think it would be fair of me to fight you. You must like pain!"  
  
The fight started.. and then it ended with Kienu's head stuck in a wall. Hiei took the money and left while onlookers just stared in awe. Hiei was laughing to himself the whole time.  
  
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Sorry. Short chapter, but it is just the prologue so don't worry. Everything will get much better soon. ***laughs evilly*** 


	2. Chapter 1: It All Begins

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of its characters  
  
Chapter 1 It all begins  
"Now what should I do with all of this money I won from that stupid human?"  
  
Hiei walked into the nearest store and started looking around. Something called Vanilla Coke caught his eye. Hiei just decided to buy as much as he could. If he didn't like it then he could just give it to Yusuke. He thought he saw him drinking it before.  
  
He ended up buying 13 12-packs. He took his soda to a bench at the park and decided to start drinking.  
  
"Not bad! Not bad at all!"  
  
Of course Hiei didn't know this, but Vanilla Coke is dangerous to demons. It causes a chemical dissemblance in their brains. Poor Hiei, who was now on his eighth can, still had no clue what was going to happen to his sanity.  
  
Hiei, who by now had started thinking more creatively (he started to lose it), decided to stash 8 of his remaining 9 packs in the bushes and took the other one with him as he started bouncing off the trees.  
  
He killed a couple people as he started swinging his sword around saying that he was a falcon hunting its food.  
  
"Don't forget the naked man!" he screamed.  
  
Then Hiei started doing what he called the sacred mahi-mahi dance to summon paperclips with headaches.  
  
"You have a nose in the middle of your head that can smell cheese puffs with the measles!!!!" said Hiei to a man who had only one nose, which was in the proper place.  
  
Hiei had finished his "travel pack" now and decided to get a couple more from his stash. He took 2 packs from his stash and started consuming them right away.  
  
He was halfway through the first one when some people in white jackets came in a big van.  
  
"Oh no! The lobsters are attacking!" said Hiei right before he started singing the song "Addicted" by Simple Plan to the can of Vanilla Coke that he was currently drinking.  
  
Then he started doing an interpretive dance that he called "Pants No More".  
  
The men in white jackets were trying to sneak up on Hiei. They carried a strait jacket and a net. (If you haven't guessed already, they are from the mental facility)  
  
Hiei had now finished the packs of Vanilla Coke that he was carrying a whole 5 minutes ago. He decided it was time for more. While he was getting into his stash, the white-jacketed men threw the net on top of him, forced him to the ground, put the strait jacket on him, and stuffed him in the van.  
  
"Give me freedom or give me death!" Hiei called out right before he was injected with tranquilizers that were strong enough to make even a demon pass out.  
Do you like? Please R&R. New chapter coming soon!!!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 2: The Insane Asylum

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of its characters  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Insane Asylum  
Last time on The Night Hiei Went Crazy..... Hiei was taken away by mental facility workers in a large van.  
  
When Hiei woke up, he was still wearing the strait jacket and was in a padded cell. The effect from the Vanilla Coke had not yet worn off.  
  
He was in there for about 15 minutes when a man came up to the door of his cell. He looked too scared to come in. Hiei, of course, started laughing histerically.  
  
"Hey crazy dude! You have a visitor," said a man in a white jacket.  
  
Hiei, who was beginning to think creatively again, realized a way to get himself out of this place and back to his precious Vanilla Coke. He immediately stopped laughing and waited for his visitor.  
  
"Hiei! Why are you in here? People were saying you had gone crazy or something. The stuff they said you did was nothing the Hiei I know would ever do."  
  
"Yusuke. I have no idea what you are talking about. Those stupid humans shot me with some kind of dart at the park and next thing I know, I'M IN THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR AN INSANE ASYLUM!!!!! I could get out of here, but that would get me in more trouble. I thought I should wait for you to come get me. I knew you would. NOW GET ME OUT OF HERE BEFORE I GET OUT MY SWORD AND START KILLING PEOPLE!" HA thought Hiei. Yusuke would surely believe he was back to his normal self after that.  
  
"Alright Hiei. I'll get you out just calm down."  
  
After a lot of yelling and some violence, Hiei was out of the insane asylum and back on the streets with Yusuke.  
  
Hiei decided to be normal for a little longer (30 seconds) before he started running around again singing.  
  
"Born freeeee, as free as the wind blows!!!!!!!! Hey Yusuke! Thank you for getting me out of there!!!!!!! Do you believe in monkeys?"  
  
"CRAP! What have I done? Those people must have been right. Why is Hiei doing this? What made him go crazy?" said Yusuke.  
  
"Are you talking to me or to yourself?"  
  
"Kurama! Oh yeah I knew you were there. I was talking to you. Why would I talk to myself eh he eh he?" said Yusuke, who of course had no idea Kurama was there and actually was talking to himself.  
  
"Well what are we going to do?" asked Yusuke.  
  
"I guess we should follow him. Maybe it will lead us to what has caused his madness."  
  
"I hope so," said Yusuke as Hiei headed off in the direction of the park.  
  
"I AM HIEI! HEAR ME PLAY THE FLUTE!"  
  
Both Yusuke and Kurama knew that this was going to take a while. 


	4. Chapter 3: Supply Shortage

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of its characters.  
  
Chapter 3 Supply Shortage  
Hiei went back to his stash and decided that since Yusuke and Kurama would take it away from him if they saw it he should start finishing his remaining 72 cans right away.  
  
They got there sooner than he had expected.  
  
"Hiei! So this is why you've gone psycho."  
  
"No! Stay away! It's all mine! Mine I tell you mine! You can't have it! It's mine!" cried Hiei, who was now halfway through his remaining Vanilla Coke.  
  
"Hiei calm down. We aren't going to take away your Vanilla Coke. It's ok," said Kurama.  
  
"We are too going to take it! What else would we do?" yelled Yusuke stupidly. Kurama fell down anime style of course.  
  
"I WAS TRYING TO TRICK HIM! HOW CAN YOU BE SUCH A MORON?"  
  
"Wow Kurama. I didn't know you were able to yell at all, let alone that loud."  
  
"Cream cheese sooths sore muscles!" added Hiei as he finished his last Vanilla Coke.  
  
Now the effect wouldn't wear off for a week or so. Not good. Not good. Really not good.  
  
"Cows are knowledge!!!!!!!!" chanted Hiei as he started an acrobatic routine.  
  
"I didn't know he could do that," said Kurama.  
  
"Yeah...oh no."  
  
"Oh no what?"  
  
"How long do you think this will last?"  
  
"About a week I guess."  
  
"So how will we control him until then?"  
  
"That is a problem isn't it Yusuke." They didn't know just how troublesome it would be.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! My sacred Vanilla Coke! I've just realized that I have no more! Curse those stupid purple kangaroos," said Hiei.  
  
"It is a good thing that Hiei doesn't have any more money," said Kurama.  
  
"Well he could just steal it from the store," said Yusuke.  
  
"Don't give him ideas!"  
  
Hiei had a better idea though. An idea that would cause much more trouble then robbing the store.  
  
"Where is he going now? Oh no... he is heading toward" Yusuke was cut off when Hiei said  
  
"The bank!!!! The bank!!! Off I go to the bank!!! Come one come all! Pigs and zebras alike are welcome! The palace of money! Yipee! Woopdidoo! Oh yes now I see the aardvarks are going to join us too! The more the merrier. As I've always said, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it jump up and down like a cactus on a windy day."  
  
"Oh how fun," said Yusuke sarcastically. 


	5. Chapter 4: A Scene At the Palace of Mone...

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of its characters. If I did, the world would be a much scarier place *lets people wonder what that means*  
  
Chapter 4 A Scene At the Palace of Money  
Hiei made his way to the bank with the aardvarks, zebras, and other stuff he thought was there because of the chemical imbalance in his brain.  
  
"Can't you run any faster?!" shouted Yusuke.  
  
"No, but shouldn't I be the one telling you to run faster?"  
  
"Shut up!" yelled Yusuke, who was about 50 feet behind Kurama.  
  
Kurama and Yusuke were both thinking why it had to be Hiei they were chasing. Hiei was the fast one. It could have been Kuwabara or something. Speaking of Kuwabara...  
  
"Hey Yurameshi! What are you doing? Hey don't run away from me!" said our favorite kitten-loving friend.  
  
"Kuwabara! We are busy right now! Please go away unless you are going to help us get Hiei before he blows up the world or something."  
  
"Yusuke you are going to give him ideas again!"  
  
"Where is short punk going? Did he just go into the bank? What is he going to do there?" asked Kuwabara.  
  
"I'm guessing he is going to rob it so he can get more money for that Vanilla Coke stuff he loves so much."  
  
They arrived at the bank just in time to hear Hiei say..  
  
"Attention soup ladles and jelly spoons. I am here to take that stuff you call money so I can buy some of the stuff I call Vanilla Coke. AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhh a giant centipede!"  
  
"I am not a centipede thank you very much! My name is Taika and I am"  
  
We never got to here what Taika was because Hiei *accidentally* cut her head off.  
  
"The purple kangaroos made me do it!"  
  
"What is he talking about? Did he go crazy?" asked Kuwabara.  
  
"He must of, but the only clue we have as to why is that he discovered Vanilla Coke and is drinking large quantities of it."  
  
"Vanilla Coke? Ew nasty! That stuff is terrible!" said Kuwabara. "How could he like it enough to drink large quantums of it?" (I have nothing against Vanilla Coke. It is actually my favorite soda. Just because I like it doesn't mean Kuwabara has to though)  
  
"I said quantities not quantums!" said Kurama, getting angry again.  
  
"Yeah. Right. I knew that."  
  
By this time Hiei had taken just about all of the money in the bank and had left, but not before the "purple kangaroos" forced him to kill everyone who saw him do it except Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara.  
  
"How are we ever going to figure this out?! Its terrible! I want answers!"  
  
"I can provide some of them," said some toddler who had just arrived with the Jr. symbol on his head.  
  
"Koenma?" asked Yusuke and co.  
  
Oooooo I wonder what is going to happen next! Actually I don't because I already know, but I'm sure you wonder so R&R and have fun until I right the next chappy!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Chapter 5: The End?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho or any of the characters. If I was that creative.my fan fics would be better.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The End?  
When we left off. some toddler with the Jr. symbol on his forehead told Yusuke, Kurama, and Kuwabara that he might be able to give them answers to some of their questions about Hiei and his sudden madness.  
  
"Koenma?"  
  
"Bingo!"  
  
"Botan? You're here too?"  
  
"Uh huh! It looks like Hiei is giving you a bit of trouble," said Botan.  
  
"A bit? I would say a lot! Chasing Hiei around trying to make sure he doesn't kill anyone in his state of insanity is worse than one of my missions!" exclaimed Yusuke.  
  
"Well guess what! Stopping Hiei is your next mission as Spirit Detective."  
  
"Ok uh Yusuke. I think I'm gonna go home now," said Kuwabara.  
  
"Yes, I think I should be leaving too," said Kurama.  
  
"GET BACK HERE YOU TWO!" yelled Koenma.  
  
"You are going to help Yusuke along with Botan. Botan don't think I can't see you trying to sneak away."  
  
"Do we have to help? Yusuke has beaten Hiei before right. He did that all by himself."  
  
"Well even if Yusuke beats Hiei, that won't get rid of Hiei's sugar-high or the fact that he is addicted to Vanilla Coke. I must say though, he has good taste in soda."  
  
"What? No way! Vanilla Coke is nasty!" yelled Kuwabara.  
  
"You obviously don't appreciate fine tastes!" Koenma yelled back.  
  
"Fine tastes? More like nasty tastes"  
  
This went on for quite some time before Botan remembered that they had to stop Hiei before he got into even more trouble.  
  
"Well, not to be rude, but even if Yusuke had us to help what makes you think we can solve this predicament?" asked Kurama.  
  
"We know Yusuke isn't to smart."  
  
"Yeah I am!"  
  
"As I was saying. Yusuke isn't too bright so you and Botan can help him think."  
  
"What about Kuwabara?"  
  
"Since he can't help with the thinking, he can go along for moral support."  
  
"I can too think! What kind of sport is moral?  
  
At that everyone fell down anime style.  
  
Koenma left and they set off to search for Hiei. They searched all over for a week and a half until they finally found Hiei.  
  
Meanwhile, Hiei had dropped all of the money he stole from the bank and chased it all over. For some reason he never caught any of it. I'm thinking that the Vanilla Coke also weakened him.  
  
"Hiei!" shouted the gang after searching all over.  
  
"Hello. You guys look tired. Don't make me have to baby-sit you again. Once was too much."  
  
"Hey Kurama. how long has it been since we started searching?"  
  
"A week and a half."  
  
"Really? No wonder I'm so tired!" said Botan.  
  
"What were you guys searching for? Is it for another mission? Well, at least Koenma didn't make me help you with this one," said Hiei.  
  
"Where have you been Hiei?" asked Yusuke.  
  
"I'm pretty sure I've been sleeping for the past week and a half or so."  
  
"Sleep! I want sleep!" said Kuwabara right before he fell down unconscious. "Hiei, are you telling me you don't remember anything that happened?" questioned Kurama.  
  
"No, why what happened?" said Hiei. Then he looked at the destruction all around him.  
  
"I think it would be best if we didn't tell him about it," Kurama said to Yusuke.  
  
"Thank goodness that's over!" said Botan.  
  
"Tell me about what? Hey! Is that Vanilla Coke? I've always wondered what this stuff tastes like," said Hiei, picking up a can laying on the ground that just happened to be there right when Hiei was back to normal.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Yusuke as he tried to get the Vanilla Coke away from Hiei.  
  
He was to late.  
  
"Has anyone seen my albino hamster? I was sure the purple kangaroos put it here some where," said Hiei after finishing the can of Vanilla Coke. 


	7. Epilogue: Good Bye

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Yu Hakusho and co.  
  
Epilogue Good Bye  
  
I am sure you all wan to know what happens after Hiei rediscovers Vanilla Coke.  
  
The gang finds out how to stop him and right before they can do it, Hiei destroys the world and everyone dies.  
  
How sad.  
  
Thanks for reading my fic!!!!!!!!! I plan on making another one soon. It will be a more serious one, but still with humor. Look for it sometime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	8. Sequel?

Yo yo yo! This is Hieiluva4eva and I have been getting lotsa reviews that want me to write a sequel. I have decided that I should, if enough of you great reviewers review and tell me to! I probably will write a sequel, but you reviewers will decide how long it will take depending on how many of you review and tell me what you think of a sequel. Well, thank you for listening and have a peachy day!  
  
S.O.S stands for SAVE OUR SOAP  
  
~*Hieiluva4eva*~ 


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